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iRuleThisForum Joined: 23 Jul 2004 Posted: Sun Jul 25, 2004 9:48 am	Post subject: Help is defined by one who receives it I heard this quote recently in some discussion forum; "Help is defined by one who receives it." Good quote. Well, the same thing can be said about family and friends' support for women battling breast cancer. Apparently, pretty extensive research was done to prove this point. What a big surprise.


macIsPoisonous Joined: 23 Jul 2004 Posted: Sun Jul 25, 2004 11:56 am	Post subject: Providing a good support is very difficult and I can see how some support is not actually helping those women who are battling breast cancer.

Astro Joined: 24 Jul 2004 Location: USA Posted: Sun Jul 25, 2004 12:33 pm	Post subject: Quote: Some women wanted a good deal of support, mostly centered on the idea that "things would be okay." Others wanted to "act normal," and named many forms of support they did not want. A third group wanted to receive facts, information and advice on how to deal with their cancer, while some women wanted to talk about the disease but had no desire for advice. Tough customers they are. But this is understandable.

iRuleThisForum Joined: 23 Jul 2004 Posted: Sun Jul 25, 2004 10:05 pm	Post subject: Quote: ... while some women wanted to talk about the disease but had no desire for advice. When they ask for support, generally they are looking for sympathy not some 3rd rated advice. Yet some people keep giving advice to give them feel better more or less, not those who are actually battling breast cancer. Not difficult to understand, yet difficult to put it in practice.

Astro Joined: 24 Jul 2004 Location: USA Posted: Sun Jul 25, 2004 10:36 pm	Post subject: iRuleThisForum wrote: When they ask for support, generally they are looking for sympathy not some 3rd rated advice. Yet some people keep giving advice to give them feel better more or less, not those who are actually battling breast cancer. Not difficult to understand, yet difficult to put it in practice. Very well stated.

Thais Joined: 07 Aug 2004 Location: UK Posted: Sun Dec 31, 2006 11:34 am	Post subject: "Help is defined by the one who receives it." Yes, very interesting concept! What is help to one is not help to another! I imagine that being diagnosed with breast cancer - or any cancer, for that matter, must be devastating. It's all very well for people to say 'keep positive' etc, but how difficult is that when you're facing potential death?? I think the best help would be to interact with that person as if nothing has changed within them. Make them laugh & feel cheerful at the very least! Not commiserate or tell them to 'fight it', but to embrace it & look inwards to find out why it has happened to them. The 'why' will be the first step in getting better, methinks.

iRuleThisForum Joined: 23 Jul 2004 Posted: Tue Jan 16, 2007 9:41 am	Post subject: Thais wrote: I think the best help would be to interact with that person as if nothing has changed within them. Make them laugh & feel cheerful at the very least! Not commiserate or tell them to 'fight it', but to embrace it & look inwards to find out why it has happened to them. The 'why' will be the first step in getting better, methinks. People are often looking for sympathy, not necessarily encouragement.

Author

Message

iRuleThisForum

Joined: 23 Jul 2004

Posted: Sun Jul 25, 2004 9:48 am

Post subject: Help is defined by one who receives it

I heard this quote recently in some discussion forum; "Help is defined by one who receives it." Good quote. Well, the same thing can be said about family and friends' support for women battling breast cancer. Apparently, pretty extensive research was done to prove this point. What a big surprise.

macIsPoisonous

Joined: 23 Jul 2004

Posted: Sun Jul 25, 2004 11:56 am

Post subject:

Providing a good support is very difficult and I can see how some support is not actually helping those women who are battling breast cancer.

Astro

Joined: 24 Jul 2004

Location: USA

Posted: Sun Jul 25, 2004 12:33 pm

Post subject:

Quote:

Some women wanted a good deal of support, mostly centered on the idea that "things would be okay." Others wanted to "act normal," and named many forms of support they did not want. A third group wanted to receive facts, information and advice on how to deal with their cancer, while some women wanted to talk about the disease but had no desire for advice.

Tough customers they are. But this is understandable.

iRuleThisForum

Joined: 23 Jul 2004

Posted: Sun Jul 25, 2004 10:05 pm

Post subject:

Quote:

... while some women wanted to talk about the disease but had no desire for advice.

When they ask for support, generally they are looking for sympathy not some 3rd rated advice. Yet some people keep giving advice to give them feel better more or less, not those who are actually battling breast cancer. Not difficult to understand, yet difficult to put it in practice.

Astro

Joined: 24 Jul 2004

Location: USA

Posted: Sun Jul 25, 2004 10:36 pm

Post subject:

iRuleThisForum wrote:

Very well stated.

Thais

Joined: 07 Aug 2004

Location: UK

Posted: Sun Dec 31, 2006 11:34 am

Post subject:

"Help is defined by the one who receives it."

Yes, very interesting concept! What is help to one is not help to another!

I imagine that being diagnosed with breast cancer - or any cancer, for that matter, must be devastating. It's all very well for people to say 'keep positive' etc, but how difficult is that when you're facing potential death??

I think the best help would be to interact with that person as if nothing has changed within them. Make them laugh & feel cheerful at the very least! Not commiserate or tell them to 'fight it', but to embrace it & look inwards to find out why it has happened to them. The 'why' will be the first step in getting better, methinks.

iRuleThisForum

Joined: 23 Jul 2004

Posted: Tue Jan 16, 2007 9:41 am

Post subject:

Thais wrote:

I think the best help would be to interact with that person as if nothing has changed within them. Make them laugh & feel cheerful at the very least! Not commiserate or tell them to 'fight it', but to embrace it & look inwards to find out why it has happened to them. The 'why' will be the first step in getting better, methinks.

People are often looking for sympathy, not necessarily encouragement.

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